REVISIONS
Thank you so much for applying! Before we can make the final call, we’d just like to see some adjustments made to the following:

⦿ We feel there’s a lot of missing space when it comes to Alexander’s history in tandem with his personality. His relationships - with his unnamed wife, child and eventual love interest - feel largely two dimensional and we find it difficult to get a grasp on how he actually treats friends and family from what’s been given. His external motivation is strong - the threat against the city and his particular code of honor -, but we have difficulty seeing his how that affects him personally. Is he hardened by the necessity of setting aside his family? If so, what reason does he have to get involved with his partner later? What’s changed or what’s different? Is there a reason he keeps the vigilante persona even after he’s taken down Ceres and Jupiter? Are there long standing personal or political ramifications from toppling the leading world
organizations?

For your revision, we would like to get a more well rounded sense of Alexander’s character. What makes him happy? What does he regret? Is his connection with his wife and child disposable because of a mistrust bred by his own mother and his forced medication, or is it simply because he can’t bear to put them in danger? You say that Alexander isn’t charismatic - does that ever get him into trouble? These aren’t questions you necessarily need to address in your revisions themselves, but rather to encourage you to better illustrate his character to us beyond what you've already provided.

Please make sure to get your revisions back within 48 hours and to clearly mark the revisions made in your app. If you need an extension due to RL circumstances, feel free to contact us!